God bless me~~

whatever

I am ready.

纷扰

告诉自己要平静，接受既定事实。还是做不到

true color

不安的人群，凋零的经济，无辜的裁员，沸沸扬扬的提案，小心大世界除了无力的哀伤，忧己忧人的施舍又有谁人顾及。涌动的人潮里穿梭，感觉不到丝毫人味。面无表情的障眼法一如闪动的小绿人，匆匆赶路，提前的黄色讯号真的能预警必然的红色风暴吗？
加快脚步，裹紧外衣，行色涣散

flirtation

矜持不忌惮。恣情不做做。暖暖不暧昧。所谓的调情已恍然间持续了多年。
习惯了在深夜和他静静诉说，相诺的婚约里玩味渐少。
深信不疑的调情已经成为我的吗啡，计量虽并无增加，却已离不开。
桃色的岁月释放出菟靡的寥落，这一丝猩红的跃动让我绝望。

talk to my sis, feel great.
Only she treats me as a little kid needing a warm hug.
Only she could give me the feeling that I was still that little kid.

loving you

less is more

dream links

Browsing over the old photoes,his shining simle melted the tiny chill of my heart.
Suddenly enlighted that this episode remains have sharply engraved on my mind.
Currently seeing this guy, things are as if in a dream.

Calf love, half love; old love, cold love.

I refuse to miss you 。。。

how is your bassoon, how much did i wish to touch it

突围

Conditions are never perfect. "Someday" is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you. If it is important to you and you want to do it "eventually", just do it and correct the course along the way.

始终不明白

初冬上秋火，不合时令的混乱、颠倒一如我的顽劣。头重脚轻，脑袋也不灵光，看似无谓的放弃中，内心却焦急如焚。总是这样，看似对一切都无所谓，摆出一副要死不活的表情，纵心里甚是欢喜却也不肯开口，骄傲执拗得另己生厌。

父母总是清淡地关怀着，比冷眼的观众多了几分感动。掏不空填不满的心依旧会感到绝望。
一梦三四年，无痛无痒地过往。兀自离开，转身。走不出的路口···

拒绝交流已有一段时间了，沉默中故作镇定。自我安慰风起云涌本是江湖。
夜。默默。童话里的美好快乐。
快了。

the west wing

if you don't want to run again, i respect that. but if you don't run because it is too hard or you think you are going to lose, well, god, I don't even want to know you.

Ashes Of Time。

天地孤影任我行，世事苍茫成云烟。
时间的灰烬是人的宿命，惟有那沧海一声笑，方能以豁达直面这永远都躲不过的江湖，或许此即是我们寻寻觅觅的武侠精神之所在。

泛泛

都只是泛泛之辈,
不承认落俗却不得自由,
不甘于平凡却又身不随心。

闭上眼睛看

格拉斯的小说<剥洋葱>"回忆就像一颗要剥皮的洋葱,我累了,只有回忆能让我保持清醒".
我们的回忆就象剥洋葱般,越往深处越清晰纯白,虽然回忆的味道偶尔让我鼻酸,让我感觉想泪流......我们都回不去了,回不到那个纯白年纪了,虽然我们的心依旧时常闪烁着那些年里消失不掉的时光流影.

爱上并讨厌起他 因同一事

饕餮

这一切都跟意义无关，所有的爱情，激动，感动，慰藉，欣喜，仓惶，痛苦，都不是意义，只是感官的盛宴。我想要的就是这样的盛宴。

写在THANKSGIVING之后

充满感谢味道的帖子 充斥 费解 三小时整后 明彻
忽略了的又何止于此···
总不是自己的节日 过季的火鸡
分不清时间 索性不去记得
忘记重要的约会 邂逅脸红的谦谦君子
从透视设计图纸至石材分析鉴定
自解剖田鼠到分子扩增
vocabulary、essay、paper三者纠结 痛不欲生
又开始无休止依赖咖啡的日子。
又开始无缘由坐立不安难以集中精神的日子。
我已经知道，这一场场，都是虚无的表演。
却又能怎样
狠狠拥抱 彼此真实
把心放凉 各自生活
午夜残片 修剪如长发

我们都会变成另一个模样，尽管我们都不相信。
----------《悲观主义花朵》·廖一梅

寂寞的参照

自己的小，思维的大。
喜欢抿嘴,喜欢翘嘴角,界乎于真实与不真实之间.


这两天的天气着实让我喜欢,风一直在吹,气候微凉.
这样的天气让人有种想寻求温暖的欲望,却又不至于冷到绝望.
于是在这样微瑟的凉风里很适合看一部叫做<海角七号>的台湾电影.
不为别的,单单是情深的日文情书独白和无数次钢琴背景音乐里出现的海岸风景,就足够叫我感动.
在时代面前,我们都过于渺小,我们的爱更加缥缈,于是我们选择各种方式,信笺也好,电影也好,摄影也好.....
无非都是为了留住已不存在的瞬间美好,爱是短暂的,我们都是短暂的...
海角七号是个地址,一个和爱、思念、远方的人一样，湮灭在时光里的地址。

why?

we've already made a deal that no more complaints, no more concerns
well, how careworn was I
every singal day told the tiny jane living in my inner life to be a happy person, at least do not be a people sick with herself

choose to wait until the one shows up
choose to smile even the tears welled out
choose to laugh though the sarrow occupied bosom
choose to choose nothing```

these day the toefl test tortures me so much as driving me crazy.
aiming at perfection in everything and no allowrance for my excuses
if I cannot lighten this load, I would never get rid of the ravelment all my life

why? why I had to endure this?

sleep at 3:00am and get up at 8:00am
how pathetic how radiculous how void I was
wasting so much on meaninglss business
worn , toilsome, but how much did I do on the well-timed thing
why make yourself look awful
technically, you just suffer from your own action

插科打诨

就这么着吧

“要么彻底看透，要么糊涂。”


混个得且

let's start from here

writing for myself
no expecting for the sympathy or anything else


writing not for who you are,
but for who I am

不可说

似乎自幼就有一种难隐的戾气、狂躁、冲动、血性。多数的衿默常会另自己信以为真地欺瞒自已原本淑静。粗陋与浅薄躁动着，愤怒与世俗不安着，原本就无灵性的面容虽不狰狞，却也没什么可令己令他停留参略的。如扶桑低垂头宇，看似哀婉的落寞中冷漠与不平舞动着，俗艳的红与素颜的白。

尽量控制自己的狂躁，让自己不是一个mania. 不同于fan,不同于狂爱。学会博爱的关注世人，不再太过冷眼亦或太过感性地。用小心承重大世界，用无力微笑不公不平。

不能了，不能悟，不能舍，不能弃，参不透，舍不得。

不可说···

Time and tide wait for no one

有关出国一事，烦忧颇多。考托在即，却已临阵倒戈、溃败（在所难免，抑或势在必得）···
父母对于此事知之甚少，除了一句句看似轻松的勉励之外,可赠之物已甚少，便也不再奢求些什么，总归是自己选的一条路，摸爬滚打，却也要看似从容走过，至少含泪带笑地

这种家庭出身的孩子，是不是真的就要这样··

识时务

浮世绘

沧海桑田
陵谷易处
仅剩的痕迹大体却已归入秦砖汉瓦一流了····

历史也好
生活也好
总有那么样的几人
让我觉得浅薄
除了计较蝇头小利与当前利益之外
似乎所有的视线都已被物质挡住

总有时候　
我还是会用我的年少无知
去鄙视你在知人阅世方面所缺少的青春期起码的成熟
到底你是成人还是孩子？
我总是鄙夷地反问···

有些事情不是想象的那样
有些事情不是看到的那样
有些事情不是听到的那样
谁也不清楚有些事情到底是什么样的

有些疤瘌眼斜眼的人
就是喜好按照自己的视角去尽情剪裁拼接事实
把一件上乘的宽袍大袖
硬是活生生的改成了瘪三穿的鸡脚裤　

面对本已经这样蹩脚扭曲的现实
却还要忍受经由比家庭妇女还浅薄的见识加工
最终生活真的就开始
象一颗颗没牙老头嘬过的花生米
让人扔也不是
吃也不是
拿在手上还觉得恶心

这样的生活近乎哈哈镜
对着这样的哈哈镜舍宾
还不如不舍宾

对于那些不为时趋左右　求真守实
独立不移的品格
我肃然起敬
它赋予了无毛直立动物某种近乎
神性的气质
某种有别于兽的高贵


人间百态
以出世人的心境做入世人的事情

before&after

every single day i pray,

I only try to be a better man

As i lie at night

i'm imagining things

how it used to be``

grasp the nettle

The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but what they miss.


--------T. Carlyle

no time left

never miss this chance

一剪梅

一剪寒梅
傲立雪中
只为伊人飘香
爱我所爱
无怨无悔
此情长流


Loving a man who never-ever loved me

hint

Each singal person has his shining quality
The people who is short-spoken may has the whole world in his tiny heart
A lady-killer is always amorous and romantic and that's why he is so attractive
anyway today's honest and lenient guy I met showed his mildness moving my lonely heart
how can I pretend indifferent to such a nice person
but what else will happen if I present him a gleam of hope
can I stand the sin for grieving his naive soul
was Eve suffering the same lure?
is there still a line btween goodness and evil?
does a lonesome girl really need a moral?

For me, such a ruthless girl, meeting such a guy is destined to be a disaster

velvet

21-year-old

Youth is a perpetual intoxication;
it is a fever of the mind.
------Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld

magnanimousness

experiment, vocabulary, PCR, clone pony
be a scientist in spite of unwillingness
everybody is destined to do his own business
I, as a human, should obey the rules of this game
no matter how reluctant am I
To fulfill it as an obligation
life doesn't go according to my will
be magnanimous toward my own fate


as the charming prince passing by
I showed nothing but appreciation
agreeabliy enjoy the thing that will never belong to me
finally find a piece of peace`

A thread cut with a carving knife

天气明丽 清淡
奔涌而来的狂浪席卷温和
无声 湮灭
命悬一线
扭曲的手指
无望的眼白
稻草 在哪？

索性间 仅是一刹
放弃所有的争斗
希望随涡旋而坠
苦痛消逝
恐惧接踵而至
释然所有负重
一切 却已
万劫不复

a thread cut with a caving kinfe
一痕的伤痛
惊心却不触目
being told to hold the only straw, i, however, cannot resist the temptation to sink.
burdened by too much`
tired of struggling
shame`

sapientia

既知他非我所恋
遂顺势抽脱
免日后之繁缀
转身间洒脱笃定
无眷恋，只感念
不优柔，却轻柔
圆润而不甜腻

此般女子
是万不能委屈了自己的
纵不明千万万中的那一抹心悸
却熟稔于心那微弱如丝的不适

低婉间流连
却与爱情无关
只是
有寂寞有染罢了

君子之道

君子，

少之时，血气未定，戒之在色；

及其壮也，血气方刚，戒之在斗；

及其老也，血气既衰，戒之在得。

矜而不争，群而不党。

天下有道则见，无道则隐。

周而不比；和而不同。

讷于言敏于行，安详舒泰。

不骄矜傲人，不矫揉造作。

introspection

Man struggles upwards; water flows downwards.
Are women really made of water?
Isn't it funny?

Well, that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. But rather it's tapestry of events..... that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan.

Don' t waste life in doubts and fears.-------- Emerson

an antemortem confession

The unexamined life is not worth living. -- Socrates

难以自制的逃匿与慵懒
疯狂的赌徒
又能拿什么做最后的救赎

纷飞零落
没有出息的放纵
无人参略的旖旎
今生的仅剩的 残喘着噤声
mania
who care who i am

You figure it out, you realize that life isn't some elaborate stage play with directions for the actors. Life is a mess. It's chaos personified.

the 2ed day & 15 days left

counting back and moving on
the 2ed day,
talking about his little pony, seemingly fun
15 days left
struggling to die elegantly``

a elegiac lament`

hunting for love

兀自的爱恋，没有什么缘由。总是会轻易地喜欢···

心里轻轻默念他的名字一遍又一遍

翻来覆去辗转反侧只是欲罢不能

会给欢喜的人以独特的名字诠释

或是妄自尊大的一厢情愿

或是百转千回的静默痴笑

只是喜欢这过程中那宛若少女般的懵懵懂懂
这次，又是何意？又该作何解释？



零下的寒风

颤抖的声音

是不是安稳如此的男孩素来木讷

低眉顺目间

却已身陷囹圄

This mystery guy I met in a million and a half hours ago. A guy I don't even remember, except for this vague picture I have inside my head. It was just a few seconds a fragment really. And it was like..... in that moment.

The left spoor witness the hard hunting for love. I am a horrible monster.

courageous

Anyway, today is a memorable day.
Several days ago, I told myself that I should persist in this choice and try my best to fulfill it. Only I can give myself the felling that I am a deserving and worthwhile person. And I told myself that whenever please do not abandon your dreams at all times. However, I doubted that my so-called dream is really the one that is derived from my inmost desires. But have you ever asked yourself what did you really like and what is it that deserves you to spend your whole lifetime to pursue? Tonight I questioned myself is it truly the dream that you’re dreaming? Why? What grieved me most is that I actually couldn’t give myself a satisfying answer. How pathetic I am! I, all day along, contemplated this issue and trapped into the confusion which seems no perfect answers.

well, life isn't always what one likes, isn't it? i, accidentally, took the sence of something. life could be poor and life could be lonely, but what we could never lose is the elegant heart towards life, right? so do not hide in the corner . There is only one sin. That is weakness.... The only saint is that soul that never weakens, faces everything, and determines to die game.

方士

长久的坚持只为短暂的华美

火树银花间形解魂消

力量的转换


烟花，城镇的叫卖者，婚丧嫁娶，热烈或悲怆···

火药，所谓“药”，以毒攻毒， 智慧于混沌间爆破。


游走于危险边缘，对抗、生命、死亡与短命的美自古就憾彻寰宇

穷途末路 炽烈有了归属

怀疑一切 却期待着发生


否定的否定不是肯定

生活不是数学

蔡国强说 我愿意相信